Fatqueegzag is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, unsympathetic duck.

Fatqueegzag created light nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Fatqueegzag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fatqueegzag, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Fatqueegzag's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Fatqueegzag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Fatqueegzag.

4. Put Fatqueegzag first in all things.

5. Do not speak about cherries.