Tanfagwip is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unjust ferret.

Tanfagwip created the Black Eye Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tanfagwip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tanfagwip, she will cry a lot.

Tanfagwip's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Tanfagwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear purple clothing.

2. Erect a giant brown sculpture of Tanfagwip in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Never talk about spacetime near ants while wearing white coats and balancing nine iron spheres on your head.

5. Feed all hungry goats.