Ratpongid is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, amazing hare.

Ratpongid created a bottom quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ratpongid, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ratpongid, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Ratpongid's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Ratpongid's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ratpongid loves rats, so they must be respected.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Ratpongid in the centre of the settlement.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.