Tarlat is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, cheerful wombat.

Tarlat created the Large Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tarlat, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Tarlat, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Tarlat's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tarlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near geese while wearing gray dresses and balancing four silver spheres on your chest.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

5. Tarlat must be the most important thing in your life.