Flabsadlan is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, dishonest raccoon.

Flabsadlan created matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabsadlan, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flabsadlan, he will curse you with boils.

Flabsadlan's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Flabsadlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured foxes.

2. Feed all hungry badgers.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Hide from turquoise porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Put Flabsadlan first in all things.