Bonnutflig is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, deceitful hydra.

Bonnutflig created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bonnutflig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bonnutflig, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bonnutflig's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bonnutflig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your back.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Bonnutflig loves shrews, so they must be respected.