Wiggonstan is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, benevolent squirrel.

Wiggonstan created a Higgs boson five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wiggonstan, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Wiggonstan, it will turn you into a slug.

Wiggonstan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Wiggonstan's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not wear red clothing.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Run away from white whales, for they are unholy.

5. Never eat turnips.