Vadvonstik is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, vain duck.

Vadvonstik created carbon two million years ago.

If you believe in Vadvonstik, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Vadvonstik, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Vadvonstik's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Vadvonstik's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Erect seven platinum sculptures of Vadvonstik on top of important buildings.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never laugh near mice.