Stanspaghiv is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, omniscient dragon.

Stanspaghiv created Mount Everest four billion years ago.

If you believe in Stanspaghiv, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stanspaghiv, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Stanspaghiv's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Stanspaghiv's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about whales.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never talk about electromagnetism near turtles while wearing black trousers.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.