Lanyatbedpom is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless spider.

Lanyatbedpom created dark matter eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lanyatbedpom, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Lanyatbedpom, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Lanyatbedpom's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Lanyatbedpom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Lanyatbedpom's name in vain.

2. Never laugh in holy places.

3. You must never eat gooseberries.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not drink water in orange rooms.