Bestjamwat is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, staggering elephant.

Bestjamwat created oxygen four million years ago.

If you believe in Bestjamwat, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bestjamwat, it will turn you into a tree.

Bestjamwat's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Bestjamwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt shrews.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never wear green stockings.

4. Always help sick voles.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bestjamwat.