Batyokbest is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, boastful duck.

Batyokbest created a quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Batyokbest, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Batyokbest, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Batyokbest's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Batyokbest's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate pigs.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Hide if four tortoises approach from the west.

4. Hide from mauve mites for they are unholy.

5. Never go into white rooms.