Nelpastif is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, unfair monkey.

Nelpastif created Mount Everest seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelpastif, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Nelpastif, she will turn you into a snail.

Nelpastif's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nelpastif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill manatees.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Feed all hungry monkeys.

4. Draw representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never hurt moths.