Jenkopflab is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident parrot.

Jenkopflab created the planet Jupiter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenkopflab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jenkopflab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Jenkopflab's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Jenkopflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair blue.

2. Erect six titanium sculptures of Jenkopflab on top of important buildings.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never feed lots of beans to shrews while wearing magenta coats.

5. Never write about spacetime.