Sistonkfom Gomappsan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, duplicitous badger.

Sistonkfom Gomappsan created an up quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sistonkfom Gomappsan, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Sistonkfom Gomappsan, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Sistonkfom Gomappsan's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Sistonkfom Gomappsan's Holy Commandments

1. Never bounce in the presence of pigs.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always obey Sistonkfom Gomappsan's priests.

5. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near ants while wearing brown skirts.