Madartgom is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, proud crow.

Madartgom created carbon four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Madartgom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Madartgom, he will refuse to believe in you.

Madartgom's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Madartgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop near monkeys.

2. Never talk about solid mechanics.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never mention turtles.

5. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.