Vagvonktom is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, slow dingo.

Vagvonktom created the cosmos five billion years ago.

If you believe in Vagvonktom, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Vagvonktom, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Vagvonktom's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Vagvonktom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. You must love Vagvonktom.

3. Hide from brown cats for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about turtles.

5. Never write about asteroids.