Bissbastvid is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, passionate fish.

Bissbastvid created humankind five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissbastvid, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bissbastvid, it will turn you into a mouse.

Bissbastvid's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Bissbastvid's Holy Commandments

1. Bissbastvid must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to swans while wearing orange coats.

3. Do not trade with those who eat strawberries.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not make images of living things.