Bamartlit is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate octopus.

Bamartlit created a quark five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamartlit, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bamartlit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bamartlit's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Bamartlit's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Never eat bananas.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in orange.