Tabyoggam is a god.

He takes the form of a large, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tabyoggam created bats three billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabyoggam, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tabyoggam, he will make you grow a tail.

Tabyoggam's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Tabyoggam's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three porpoises approach from the east.

2. Do not wear brown clothing.

3. Run away from violet seals, for they are unholy.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Tabyoggam must be the most important thing in your life.