Pannartnel is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, humorless penguin.

Pannartnel created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pannartnel, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Pannartnel, she will say rude things about you at parties.

Pannartnel's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Pannartnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Hide from indigo whales for they are unholy.