Spagnegcud is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, benevolent chinchilla.

Spagnegcud created snails three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Spagnegcud, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Spagnegcud, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Spagnegcud's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Spagnegcud's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Hide if eight eagles approach from the east.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Spagnegcud.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Do not drink alcohol.