Pitartmadwot is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, grumpy octopus.

Pitartmadwot created matter two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitartmadwot, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Pitartmadwot, she will turn you into a rock.

Pitartmadwot's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pitartmadwot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt foxes.

2. Always help doves in need.

3. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Pitartmadwot in the centre of the settlement.

4. Run away if eight whales approach from the north.

5. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.