Japvabtad is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, pitiless porpoise.

Japvabtad created matter two years ago.

If you believe in Japvabtad, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Japvabtad, it will strike you with lightening.

Japvabtad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Japvabtad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about optics near birds while wearing yellow rings.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate badgers.

3. Retreat if three moths approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.