Kopfennab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, grumpy fly.

Kopfennab created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kopfennab, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Kopfennab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Kopfennab's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Kopfennab's Holy Commandments

1. Never chant in holy places.

2. Never feed beans to birds while wearing boots.

3. Run away if six mites approach from the east.

4. Hide from black great tits for they are unholy.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.