Bastpangsom is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, selfish bat.

Bastpangsom created snails four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bastpangsom, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bastpangsom, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bastpangsom's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bastpangsom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear white clothing.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Bastpangsom must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about stars.