Cenfagparktan is a god.

It takes the form of a large, resourceful beaver.

Cenfagparktan created a down quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cenfagparktan, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Cenfagparktan, it will refuse to believe in you.

Cenfagparktan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Cenfagparktan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Do not wear silicon on your body.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never talk about dark energy near monkeys while wearing mauve scarves.