Baptafbag is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, selfish lion.

Baptafbag created time and space two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Baptafbag, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Baptafbag, he will try to impress you with trees.

Baptafbag's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Baptafbag's Holy Commandments

1. Baptafbag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always make sure there are no nematodes in a room before entering it.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Never eat lentils.

5. Never write about planets.