Sintuncum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, unsympathetic squirrel.

Sintuncum created a bottom quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sintuncum, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Sintuncum, it will turn you into a snail.

Sintuncum's most sacred site is Edenryd in Sweden.

Sintuncum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about spacetime.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Hide if six dogs approach from the north.

5. Never look at nebulae.