Lenmadbast is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, awe-inspiring snail.

Lenmadbast created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Lenmadbast, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Lenmadbast, it will turn you into a puffin.

Lenmadbast's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Lenmadbast's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about turtles.

2. Do not sit in public.

3. Worship no other gods but Lenmadbast.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never feed tomatoes to swans while wearing black skirts.