Fossfassaw is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, tranquil crab.

Fossfassaw created Mount Everest three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fossfassaw, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Fossfassaw, it will strike you with lightening.

Fossfassaw's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fossfassaw's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Fossfassaw.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Never eat apples.