Betflagyik is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing crow.

Betflagyik created an electron two million years ago.

If you believe in Betflagyik, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Betflagyik, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Betflagyik's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Betflagyik's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Betflagyik loves horses, so they must be honoured.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.

5. Do not trade with those who eat bread.