Gidbedkinhen is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, thoughtless bird.

Gidbedkinhen created the Small Magellanic Cloud three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gidbedkinhen, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Gidbedkinhen, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Gidbedkinhen's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Gidbedkinhen's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gidbedkinhen.

2. Pray towards the south.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide from white aardvarks for they are unholy.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.