Pigfudvon is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, selfish tortoise.

Pigfudvon created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigfudvon, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Pigfudvon, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Pigfudvon's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Pigfudvon's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in turquoise.

2. Never hurt porpoises.

3. Erect a large gold sculpture of Pigfudvon on top of all buildings.

4. Never feed apples to otters while wearing pink shirts.

5. You must never eat gooseberries.