Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, unselfish wyvern.

Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib created a photon two million years ago.

If you believe in Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Staf Bumnurlhun Panrulljonzogdib's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Always help sick ants.

4. Never chant near tapirs.

5. Never talk about quantum gravity near gulls while wearing cyan scarves and balancing five titanium spheres on your face.