Cedwighignell is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, happy penguin.

Cedwighignell created Mount Everest two years ago.

If you believe in Cedwighignell, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cedwighignell, it will turn you into a sheep.

Cedwighignell's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cedwighignell's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not keep four foxes in a large pit.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Never feed limes to manatees while wearing brown boots.