Fetpassit is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, prudent donkey.

Fetpassit created bats eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fetpassit, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fetpassit, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Fetpassit's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Fetpassit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always help great tits.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.