Titmobfun is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, unjust dryad.

Titmobfun created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Titmobfun, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Titmobfun, it will be very unhappy.

Titmobfun's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Titmobfun's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Retreat if nine ducks approach from the south.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Titmobfun.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.