Cunspagbed is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, happy faun.

Cunspagbed created humanity nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cunspagbed, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cunspagbed, he will turn you into a rock.

Cunspagbed's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Cunspagbed's Holy Commandments

1. Cunspagbed loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Cunspagbed in the centre of the settlement.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Hide from orange swans for they are unholy.