San is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish hyena.

San created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in San, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in San, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

San's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

San's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not drink water in black rooms.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near sheep while wearing magenta jumpers.

5. Never talk about fire.