Listarpfen is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, weak clam.

Listarpfen created dark matter seven million years ago.

If you believe in Listarpfen, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Listarpfen, he will throw large rocks at you.

Listarpfen's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Listarpfen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

3. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not take Listarpfen's name in vain.