Fobtofhamflymipyik is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless pigeon.

Fobtofhamflymipyik created oxygen seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fobtofhamflymipyik, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fobtofhamflymipyik, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Fobtofhamflymipyik's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Fobtofhamflymipyik's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Fobtofhamflymipyik loves foxes, so they must be honoured.

3. Never wear brown stockings.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Fobtofhamflymipyik.

5. Do not keep five tapirs in a large pit.