Nabquambat is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, confident snail.

Nabquambat created the universe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabquambat, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nabquambat, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Nabquambat's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Nabquambat's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs in need.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Run away if eight ants approach from the south.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.