Sityimdab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, pitiless clam.

Sityimdab created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sityimdab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Sityimdab, he will throw large rocks at you.

Sityimdab's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sityimdab's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about comets.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Hide from blue porpoises for they are unholy.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.