Vadfoncitarphenmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, loving deer.

Vadfoncitarphenmeg created Africa two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadfoncitarphenmeg, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Vadfoncitarphenmeg, she will ignore you.

Vadfoncitarphenmeg's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Vadfoncitarphenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about gravity.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never think about cell theory.