Lagbudarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, egotistical cobra.

Lagbudarp created carbon four million years ago.

If you believe in Lagbudarp, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lagbudarp, he will turn you into a rock.

Lagbudarp's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Lagbudarp's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Always wear red.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Lagbudarp.

5. Do not take Lagbudarp's name in vain.