Tonnigtail is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, almighty hare.

Tonnigtail created water two million years ago.

If you believe in Tonnigtail, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonnigtail, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Tonnigtail's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tonnigtail's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Erect a giant cyan sculpture of Tonnigtail in the centre of the settlement.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Tonnigtail must be the most important thing in your life.