Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, ill-tempered monkey.

Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut created life six billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not take Xucklibyat Higtitbedmut's name in vain.