Maphitbep is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, clever manatee.

Maphitbep created a quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Maphitbep, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Maphitbep, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Maphitbep's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Maphitbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never feed lots of aubergines to otters while wearing white jumpers.

3. Always treat badgers with great respect.

4. Never look at nebulae.

5. Never wear boots.