Rowyattflat Woddinvan is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, emotional crocodile.

Rowyattflat Woddinvan created humankind eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rowyattflat Woddinvan, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Rowyattflat Woddinvan, it will boil you in a big pot.

Rowyattflat Woddinvan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Rowyattflat Woddinvan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Rowyattflat Woddinvan.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not keep nine sheep in a large pit.